The Stag Rules
No events
I __________________________ solemnly swear that on the weekend of ______________________, in celebration of ___________________________'s Stag party, I will abide by the following rules and regulations:
1. Any man who brings a camera to the Stag party may be legally killed by his friends
2. Embarrassing the Stag at least once per hour is mandatory. Embarrassment can only take the form of attracting attention toward the Stag, and includes but is not limited to, finding girls to help in satisfying the "Stag Party Checklist"
3. You will not, at any time, call or text your girlfriend/ wife/ partner/ love interest. Failure to adhere to this rule will result in a forfeit
4. Let him flirt. Let him touch. Don't let him cheat! Remember that he must be alive, healthy, and free of any STDS on the big day. Don’t let a few minutes of pleasure ruin decades of his life
5. Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a hot babe that your friend is trying to hook up with is your legal duty
6. On the other hand, when a friend is trying to hook up, you may sabotage him only in a manner that gives you no chance of hooking up either
7. Before allowing a drunken friend to cheat on his girl, you must attempt one intervention. If he is able to get on his feet, look you in the eye, and deliver a "FUCK OFF!" you are absolved of all your responsibility
8. Back down from any physical encounters with a bouncer
9. Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours
10. All forfeits include a € 2 donation to the beer fund. Incomplete forfeits or buy out cost € 20
11. Everyone must consume one measure of alcohol at breakfast each day
12. Do not do anything that might permanently disfigure the groom-to-be. Although hilarious at the time permanent marker glasses, bad ass moustaches and shaved highbrows tend to ruin the wedding photos. Tattooing his ex-girlfriend's name on his inner thigh is also not acceptable. Beware of the wrath of a Bridezilla!!
13. Before signing the document below, I will say out loud, "What happens at __________________'s stag party STAYS at ___________________'s stag party!"
2. Embarrassing the Stag at least once per hour is mandatory. Embarrassment can only take the form of attracting attention toward the Stag, and includes but is not limited to, finding girls to help in satisfying the "Stag Party Checklist"
3. You will not, at any time, call or text your girlfriend/ wife/ partner/ love interest. Failure to adhere to this rule will result in a forfeit
4. Let him flirt. Let him touch. Don't let him cheat! Remember that he must be alive, healthy, and free of any STDS on the big day. Don’t let a few minutes of pleasure ruin decades of his life
5. Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a hot babe that your friend is trying to hook up with is your legal duty
6. On the other hand, when a friend is trying to hook up, you may sabotage him only in a manner that gives you no chance of hooking up either
7. Before allowing a drunken friend to cheat on his girl, you must attempt one intervention. If he is able to get on his feet, look you in the eye, and deliver a "FUCK OFF!" you are absolved of all your responsibility
8. Back down from any physical encounters with a bouncer
9. Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours
10. All forfeits include a € 2 donation to the beer fund. Incomplete forfeits or buy out cost € 20
11. Everyone must consume one measure of alcohol at breakfast each day
12. Do not do anything that might permanently disfigure the groom-to-be. Although hilarious at the time permanent marker glasses, bad ass moustaches and shaved highbrows tend to ruin the wedding photos. Tattooing his ex-girlfriend's name on his inner thigh is also not acceptable. Beware of the wrath of a Bridezilla!!
13. Before signing the document below, I will say out loud, "What happens at __________________'s stag party STAYS at ___________________'s stag party!"
(Signature) __________________________________ Date__________________
(Signature of Guy In Charge) __________________________________ Date__________________
Advice for the Stag about marriage:
(Please return this form to the Stag after signing)
CAVEAT:
You have to pace yourself. If you break the groom on the first night then it’s highly likely that he won’t be able to play the next day. Increase punishment levels over the duration of the Stag trip, culminating in one almighty session on the final night.
